From Ghana with Love

30th September 2010
I had this idea not to fly to Ghana because I wanted to do some sightseeing. The Cross Country bus left late but even though the trip took forever, I was happy to go by road even though the officers at the borders kept delaying with their numerous questions and all, then again, they were just doing their job. When we passed through the francophone countries I read every bill board just to test my French and I admit that it is all rusty. The journey was eventful sight wise but it was tres long and at some point I wondered why I didn’t just fly with my friends but it was okay and I bonded with some people in the bus. I was between reading “Eat, Pray, Love”, sleeping and sightseeing I would say that the trip was okay. I got to Ghana around some minutes past 8pm, Nigerian time as it turns out we are one hour ahead of them. If you watch Africa Magic you will already know that their accent is different from ours and we sound funny to them just as they sound to us. When we got to Ghana before we made our entrance into Accra, I concluded that the Country is an island because at almost every point, we were surrounded by water but my even though I could could not remember ever seeing it surrounded by water on the map neither could I remember Ghana ever being called an Island. My Ghanaian friend was quick to correct the impression. He explained that we passed the coastal region.

Unlike Nigeria, Ghana has regions; regions are what we call states, what we call soup is their stew and what we call stew is their soup. They also have constant electricity there; they do not experience power shortage but fuel is expensive and their currency is of higher value than the naira. 1 cedi is the equivalent of N100; 20cedi is the equivalent of N2,000. I don’t know about water though cos we stayed in a hotel but I’m already getting ahead of myself.
My friend came to pick me up and some guy hanging around the bus stop helped me with my bag. He crossed to the other side of the road where Accra Mall is but we couldn’t cross with him because the road is a busy express road and I said to my friend and his sister “this cannot happen in Lagos, how can he carry my travel bag and be on the other side of the road?” They both laughed because as we all know, the person would have made away with my bag. Don’t I just love Lagos! But that’s the Ghania lot for you, they are (as Sadiya or Serwa as she chose to be called for the Ghanian trip, would put it)proper, polite and honest people. We went to his aunt’s house and I must say that his aunt was very warm and homely, so were his sisters.
Eventually I settled for the night at a guest house somewhere in town to await my friends’ arrival. Meanwhile, MTN lived up to expectation. Immediately I left Nigeria, I had no idea that I had automatically been roamed so kept answering my calls and my units kept dwindling, so much that after my first night in Ghana I wasn’t able to make calls neither was I able to receive, all I could do was receive text messages that I could not reply. I thanked God for journey mercies and retired for the night.
1st October 2010
While my homeland was in mourning over the bombing, I had no idea because I did not listen to the news and I was trying to reach Sadiya, Eddie and Ogo who were supposed to have come in that morning but alas MTN had rendered me useless so I took a shower and stepped out to make a call but to no avail. I still had a hard time figuring out their currency and was still confused about how to spend it. But the telephone guy did not take advantage of the fact that I was a foreigner. He took his time to explain it to me and he was really helpful. I said a silent God bless you and thanked him for his help. My friend and his sister came to pick me up, I had breakfast at TFC and they watched me eat and I got for my friends who I was finally able to get through to on Vodafone. MTN (Ghana)chose that particular period to mess up service wise.
I got to Ramada Resorts and the view was breath taking. I got to the reception and after exchanging greetings I said “I’m looking for a bunch of Nigerian girls who arrived this morning”. Of course they had been expecting me so I was led to our rooms. After the hugs and introductions, I chose a Ghanian name as all my friends already did. Yaw, my Ghanian friend and Eno ( dunno if I spelt it correctly)named me according to the day I was born. My name became “Adwoa” which means born on Monday, Eddie, “Akua” pronounced as “ekiya”; cant remember the meaning maybe she’ll help me; Sadiya, as I mentioned earlier was “Serwah” and Ogor was “Abena” can’t remember their meanings.

Yaw and his sister educated us on some things like how much to give as tips, gave us a brief history of Ghana and answered some of the questions we had. After they left, we got dressed and hit the streets; we went shopping, we went to the bureau de change first to change money and in no particular idea, “Woodin”, “Da Viva” (all cloth shops), then the market and it was evident to all that we were not Ghanians, like we cared. We decided to go to “Buka” (I don’t know the correct spelling)to try out some “Ghanian” food. Ogor wasn’t very experimental as she chose garri and egusi “stew”. Sadiya and myself took boiled plantain and “kontonmire stew” while Eddie had some swallow food whose name cannot remember with groundnut soup and tilapia. Luckily for us we met some Nigerians who were out celebrating our independence and they paid our bills. Now that saved us some cedis. It was after the meal that we went to the market and stopped at their “square” to take some pictures. in Ghana, there’s a specie of coconut that is unlike the ones we grow here, it does not mature like ours and you just drink the water and scrape the fruit and eat. Our cab driver saw how excited we were about it and asked “there’s no coconut in your country?” we all burst out laughing… from Ghana with love…
We went back to the hotel, showered and set out to have a taste of night life. Our first stop was “Citizen Koffi”. Nothing was happening there as at 11pm Ghanian time and we were supposed to pay 20cedis to gain entrance. We left. Our next stop was some other club where we were also asked to pay 20cedis but there weren’t many people and at both places we were told that they were marking our independence but we were not impressed. We then went to “Jokers” and our entrance fee was 10cedis. We paid and got in cos it was cheaper and many people were there. The music was loud as it is with clubs but the M.C just wouldn’t stop talking and by jove, was he loud! We danced some and then later on we went to join some of Edee’s friends who were also in Ghana and immedaltely we got to “XL” we could tell it was owned by a Nigerian cos we were not asked to pay a dime to gain entrance. There we danced until it was time to go. Of course we were taking pictures… in case you are asking how we got around, we hired a cab for the day and boy did he charge us.

2nd October 2010
This was when the fun began. We had a buffet breakfast and were feeling like Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte of Sex and the City except we did not get laid so don’t start having any ideas.
We had friends come pick us up for the trip to Kakum national park. The drive to the park was endless but we gisted, ate, slept and read some interesting articles Ogor brought along. The articles ranged from love stories to family to relationships et al. Eventually we got to the rain forest and it sure did not disappoint as it rained. Going back wasn’t an option because the drive took hours so we took the canopy walk. ( the pictures are in my fb photos - titled Ghana trips). The canopy walk is on a bridge built with ropes hanging on tree branches, it was a scary but adrenaline pumping experience and we climbed all seven bridges in the pouring rain, if you don’t believe me, check out the pictures. after the Kakum visit, we drove another for another 20/30 minutes to the famous Cape Coast Castle. Sound familiar? That was where slaves from all over Africa were taken before they were shipped off to America and other nations to be sold. Our tour guide Charles told us very chilling stories about how these slaves were treated. For more information, you could “google” it. The atmosphere in the castle was that of sadness, shock and whatever depressing mood you can think of. Eddie just wouldn’t lose her “depressed” face as she refused to smile in the pictures we took. According to her, she was in a sad place and should reflect the same. The pictures will tell these tales.
It was a tired but fulfilled group that set back to the hotel. How could I forget to mention that Atlantis FM provided us with good music on our way back?

3rd October 2010
Had breakfast in Eddies “happy place” and then we went to the beach right in the hotel. I was dressed for church cos apart from the fact that I couldn’t miss mass (I almost did) I wanted to see how Ghanians celebrate Mass. Pretty much the same as we do. Anyways, that’s the beauty of the Catholic Church. Nigerians came out for thanksgiving and yours sincerely wasn’t left out. I had to leave early as it was check out time at the hotel. We packed and left and then went to ShopRite to look around and eat after which we went to the airport with our friends. While we were waiting to fly aero, our flight was delayed so we just stayed at the airport and waited. We finally came into Lagos at about 11pm. So ends the tale of our “Ghanian Nights” tale.


Summary
African nations are really the same, we have poor, we have rich, we toil for our daily bread and we are strong people that have survived slavery and every form of dehumanization you can think of. There wll always be people who are satisfied with just the basic necessities of life and there will always be others who want more than the basic necessities. We cry the same tears, our food is the same whether we call them soup or stew…okay! Almost the same. We party the same; they know 2face, psquare et al; we also know VIP and their own singers and cute actors like Van Vicker. In all, Ghana was fun and if you ever visit, please try to visit at least one tourist centre.

Why am i not Married?

The last time I asked this question on facebook it generated all types of comments, some so funny that I rolled on the floor with laughter. Some comments were quite mundane and some were quite jarring. You might wonder why I am visiting this topic again but I have to because of something that happened.


A familiar and customer visited the bank today and we got talking. At first it was just general gist and then it moved on to the more personal stuff; he asked questions like “do you like your job?”… At some point he asked my age and when I responded, he asked me the next obvious question as regards this topic. “Why are you not married?” “gbagaun!!!!” So I smiled and said stuff about how I’m not married just because… (Tried to sound as subliminal as possible…or maybe I just feel like using the word “subliminal here). Anyways, he goes on and on about how there is no perfect man and how I need to follow my heart and all that jazz. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not beefing neither am I being on the defensive but I really just can’t go into all the things he said.


After he left, the question just wouldn’t get off my mind so here I am trying to figure out why I’m not married. After giving it much thought here are some of the reasons I think I’m not married.


Most of the single cute guys want some booty. I am no saint but if you as a guy really want to be serious with a girl, the last thing on your mind should be bedding her shouldn’t it? I’m not saying you shouldn’t be sexually attracted to a girl you want to date and possibly marry, neither should anyone be with someone they are not sexually attracted to but I just think certain things can wait and should be done without. Some people will say “how can I spend the rest of my life with someone and not know what he/she is like in bed? All I’m saying is I cannot be someone’s booty call at this stage of my life not even for the sake of marriage.


Then there are the ones that I know deep within me are serious but for some reason I am not attracted to them. Life is not fair is it? I try to stay friends with the guys in this category to see if the attraction might grow but nothing happens. If he meets all other criteria, should I get hooked and hope that in time it will grow? What if it doesn’t? what if it does? Maybe you will help me with the answer to that.


Then of course there are some really cute attractive guys who have 70% of what I want but are already taken- either married or seriously dating.


So is there something wrong with me? Am I being too choosy? Are my standards too high or am I just scared of commitment?


Some of my friends are saying God’s time is the best and I am hoping God’s time is not when I’m at menopause. Then of course my mum keeps reminding me of how many kids she had ad when she was my age…not that I’m old or anything. So the question still remains: Why am I not married?

Fallen

Courtesy of my brother, I’ve always had this Sarah McLachlan’s “Fallen” on my laptop. I have always liked the song but unlike my usual self, I never did listen to the words until Ikechi Oguike updated the words on her twitter profile and I listened to it on my phone and it moved me to tears.

“Heaven beg to take my hand lead me through the fire
Lead me through the fire with a long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight, truth be told I tried my best
But somewhere along the way I got caught up in all the world’s to offer
And it’s cost me so much more than I could bear

Though I’ve tried, fallen, I have sunk so low
I’ve messed uo better than I should know
So don’t come around here telling me I told you so”

That’s the first verse and the chorus.

As a child I’d always been a voracious reader, it was a passion my immediate younger brother and I shared. We’d read everything that came across our way from newspapers to novels and the like.
I have always been a Christian; I always knew that I had to also live my faith in addition to believing it but as time went on and I grew older I discovered it is easier to talk the faith than to live it. I discovered it’s easier to say I love God than to love that person that hurt me, I discovered that it is easier to quote the part of the Bible that says “love your neighbor as yourself” than to give my next door neighbor some food to eat when they have none to eat. I discovered it is easier to point out the speck in someone’s eyes than to remove the very big log in ours. I hope I do not sound preachy but I’m trying to say exactly what I feel right now.

As a child, we had this house help and when she came to Lagos, she really did not have enough clothes to wear and one day we were going out as a family and my mum asked her to wear one of my dresses and when I saw her in it, I threw a fit, I started crying because I did not want her to wear my clothes and she had to wear one of my mother’s. As I think back to that day, I am ashamed of my action and I hope she has forgiven me if she still remembers it. I really cannot remember how old I was then but being a child doesn’t excuse the fact that what I did was wrong. You see why we should never judge our fellow humans? You really never know do you?

So as I kept listening to the track that was on repeat mode, these lines just stuck and would not go away “though I’ve tried fallen, I’ve sunk so low, I ‘ve messed up better I should know…” and you know what came to my mind? The many times I looked into the mirror and could not recognize myself because I sinned, because I did what I wasn’t supposed to do, because I took God for granted, because I did not let him handle a situation because I felt I could do it on my own, because I can count the many times I messed up, the times I got caught up in what the world could offer and of course paid more than I could bear. And you know what? He kept loving me through it all; he kept giving me His grace to pull through somehow; even with how many times I rejected him, he was there patiently waiting for me to come back home. I don’t know about you but it humbles me from time to time. The singer isn’t even a gospel singer but her song touched chords deep in my soul that I can’t begin to explain.

I could console myself that I am human but I also know that some things can be avoided and temptation will always come. How can our faith be tested if we are not tempted? It is okay to fall into temptation for we aint super humans but after falling what next? Ever wonder why God was so taken with David? Even after he killed and committed adultery? A remorseful and repentant heart is what God wants. He doesn’t care if you go to church on Sundays to “show” yourself, he cares about what happens in your life in between Sundays because it is those days that matter the most. It is not being nice in church that counts because you feel a sense of God there but being nice on Monday at work, on Tuesday at school, on Wednesday to your family, on Thursday to that guy that needs your forgiveness, on Friday to your boss that has made life a living hell for you, on Saturday to that still small voice in your head that says “don’t” and then on Sunday again. I don’t know what your vice is, neither do I know what your struggle is but one thing I do know is that God uses struggle, pain and even tears to build character. After all, He never did promise a smooth sail but he did say he’ll always be there.

Nobody is perfect because if we were, I don’t think we’d be here on earth really. Recently someone posted something on facebook praying that “2012” remains nothing but a movie but what if it isn’t? What if the world does end even before you finish reading this? Most times, we don’t want to think about it, we like to think about here and now and not the life after and say God forbid each time the topic of death is brought up but people are dying all around us everyday what with the increased man-made and natural disasters world over. In a world that that is so ruled by pleasure and the “me” factor, it is even difficult to hear your very own voice, how much more the still small voice? But those that want to hear will hear even with all the noise in our world.

Remember that your salvation is a personal journey and I don’t know if you believe in Heaven and Hell but one thing I’m sure is that if there is, I don’t want to be left out.
Life on earth is transient.

“though I’ve tried, fallen, I have sunk so low, I’ve messed up …”

Funny what a well written song does to the soul.

The Dating Game

If you are a lady and you haven't read the rule book, I must say that you are missing out. If I read it earlier in my life, I'm sure I wouldn't have made some mistakes I've made in the past. I won't include the name of the author because guys are not supposed to ever lay eyes on it but google has made it so much easier @ d click of a button. The book closest to the rule book and from a Christian perspective is "Secrets of an Irresistible Woman" by Michelle Mckinney Hammond. It is a must read for every Christian woman - my opinion. You may be asking 'Chichi, what is your point?'

My point is I met a TDH guy recently. If you don't know d meaning of TDH, I won't help you. Back to my story. I was @ a recording recently and there he was and somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, I knew he was gonna spell drama but yours sincerely lives for drama don't I? But as a 'rules' girl I knew better than to talk to him first. Some will call it forming but it isn't. If a guy knows what he wants he should go for it and not the other way round. Forget the 21st century crap about a woman taking the bold step. Only works well in d movies or some really mature guy. Eeerm, I've derailed again haven't I? So where was I? So he came over and we made small talk. Talked about high school, college and post college days, turns out he's a good talker and we connected. While we were talking, my mind was already working like a clock...ladies, you know what it is like when we meet a guy we like, so I was already ahead of myself looking into the big picture. If you have a mother like my mum who constantly breathes down my neck about bringing a guy home, you'll understand and although I know she'll frown if I bring home a yoruba guy but I was past caring cos really, if he matches me spiritually, emotionally and mentally, why would tribe be a deterring factor? So after the recording he dropped me off @ home and gave me butterflies with the way his eyes stared after me.

Okay, he did meet all the physical requirements and I discovered I could talk 2 him (very important factor for me) and before my heart started spiralling out of control I knew I had to apply the rule book. On our 'first date', he asked me to come meet him @ some bar not far from my house but we know the first rule of dating is never to show up on early on the first date. I made up stuff about how tied up I was somewhere and all, suffice to say that bi showed up LATE. He made a face but I apologised as sweetly as I coukd and it was forgotten. We talked some more and I had undiluted fun. There's nothing like having a TDH guy give you his undidvided attention. The night was full of laughter and chemistry and deep down I was hoping that he would be the one. While he passed the first part of the rules/test, he did not pass the most important one for me. Or maybe I was in a hurry but when a guy kisses or tries to kiss you withoutlaying his cards on the table, you have to be careful. 'What do you want from me?' I asked and he said "I want us to be friends and some". That could mean a whole lot of things which in my dictionary means 'I want to play' and in the end I had to choose. I mean I'm not some 22 year old who could still decide to test the waters. I am looking to settle down in the nearest future and he wasn't speaking the language I wanted to hear. Then he stops buzzing me as frequently and in order not to lose my sanity I delist him from my bb just so I don't start doing the chasing. I know what you're thinking "but you could still be friends". Well, I'm not ready to be friends with him yet. I mean with all the chemistry and bonding we share, I just can't toss them or ignore them and be friends. When I'm ready to be friends I'll add him and then we can chat like nothing happened but I'm just not ready for that. For now I choose to let sleeping dogs lie.

Ladies usually apply the rules unconsciously to guys they don't send when in actual fact it should be applied to those we really like and want to have a future with. In order to know how much a guy values you, you have to pull back sometimes and see if he'll come after you. I wish TDH will show up on my doorstep and apologise and tell me how much he's missed me and how he aint sure about the future but is willing to take a bold step with me by his side. But that only happens in the movies doesn't it? I won't say its been easy but I'd rather hurt now than wait until he's decided he's played enough with me and wants to get serious with someone else. Some may not understand when I say I miss him... It's been a while I've felt like this about a guy besides I'm human and I have blood flowing through my veins.

Customer Service at its best

By now I’m quite sure that you are tired of hearing my mantra “I hate banking”. But after my failed attempt at MBGN, I’ve decided to make do with being a “Zenbie” and not complain about it. I’ve decided to continue to put in my best just because of God really cos if I wanted to be selfish, I would probably just give as much or as little as I’m being paid because come to think of it, to whom much is given much is expected right? If I did not have God in my life…

Hmmn! Where do I start? Don’t get me wrong the banking profession is not so bad, that is, if u love it and don’t mind the terminally long hours and all but it took me to get there to realize that it aint for me but enough of that already.

There are good days though. Trust me, like the day D’banj came in, Stephanie Okereke is like pure water in the branch and she usually shows up with this guy she’s dating (no names as I cannot afford a lawsuit…lol). Thank God for democracy. At that customer service desk, I have met people from Djinee to Olisah to Julius Agwu to Orits Wiliki (remember him?) to some other top shot men and women in the society whose names I cannot remember. Then there are days we get tipped and it is at that desk that I discovered that there are tips and there are tips. One customer has paid my salary at that desk as a tip, in fact, he spent like four hundred thousand bucks on just tips that day and all I and my colleagues could do was stare speechlessly. Yes there are days like that but they don’t come every day.

Then there are the men – married, single and all sorts. The funny part is the really old married men, calling your phone at night telling you that you could reach them at any time. I mean what could I possibly want with my dad’s mate? Attention? Money? What? Then there are the cute married ones, they have money, are rarely in town and know how to play the game and it takes the grace of God to resist them after all, “body no be wood”. Some of them have consciences and actually start with lines like “I’m a responsible man, I’ve never done this before, but I like you and have been trying to ignore it but it’s choking me” and if you are not careful, you could be lured by the lines and tell yourself “he is a good man” . then there are the men that see all female bankers as whores and would go from girl to girl trying to see where they can score and then there are the single ones who sometimes you pray notices you and for some others you just ignore their advances. In all, you must never be rude or condescending because you really don’t know who is who and before you know it, someone could be reporting you to one AGM or DM or ED and the rest will be history.

Then there are those customers who expect you to do everything for them, some will not even read before they append their signature and it makes one wonder how careless customers could be with their funds. Then there are those who you would go out of your way to please not because they have tipped you but because they are just pleasant people.
In my life’s journey, I have worked in three organizations and the most hostile place is the bank and I really do not know why. Maybe you could explain it to me because I’m yet to understand why. A senior colleague just picks on you for no apparent reason and it gets so bad that while you’re thinking of meeting whatever crazy target you’ve been given, you’re trying to deliver excellent customer service and then you are trying so hard not to step on your senior colleagues toes. That is without the hassles of my personal life which are countless. It’s crazy and sometimes I just want to scream but i no fit at least not within the office premises.

Sometimes I wonder how those in top management positions withstood all the antagonism and rose to the top and how they met their target because God knows I don’t want to get to top management level in the banking industry. They say there is money in the banking industry but I am yet to see it so or maybe it is until I get to a certain level. Some of my friends ask “do you think other places are any easier?” I know every environment has its peculiarity but what makes the difference is if you are passionate about it.

I’m not ungrateful that I have a job because trust me, I am able to help around the house, , send recharge cards to my brothers once in a while and basically take care of myself but I also know that I am bored and need to be mentally challenged. Or do all jobs become routine eventually and lose the ability to challenge the individual? But I have made up my mind to see it as a learning period, gold is not made beautiful until it goes through some serious heating right? That’s the attitude I’ve chosen to adopt and so should you if you are in the same position.

My Hometown

The red earth on which we tread
The untarred roads which we ply
The women riding bicycles and motorcycles
The market women selling “ugba” , “oka”and “ube”
The young ladies in their long skirts and scarves at mass on Sunday
The catechism that is taught in igbo
The constant hisses when a young lady is sighted wearing a pair of jeans
The clean breeze in the villages
The fresh water by the riverside
The rowdiness at upper iweka
The incessant kidnaps of any well fed person
The fear in going home for Christmas that was once upon a time the highlight of the year
The continuous political upheaval
From Ngige to Andy Uba to Peter Obi to Soludo?
Who next? Maybe me
My Anambra! My hometown!
Light of the Nation!
What a contrast!