The Dating Game

If you are a lady and you haven't read the rule book, I must say that you are missing out. If I read it earlier in my life, I'm sure I wouldn't have made some mistakes I've made in the past. I won't include the name of the author because guys are not supposed to ever lay eyes on it but google has made it so much easier @ d click of a button. The book closest to the rule book and from a Christian perspective is "Secrets of an Irresistible Woman" by Michelle Mckinney Hammond. It is a must read for every Christian woman - my opinion. You may be asking 'Chichi, what is your point?'

My point is I met a TDH guy recently. If you don't know d meaning of TDH, I won't help you. Back to my story. I was @ a recording recently and there he was and somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, I knew he was gonna spell drama but yours sincerely lives for drama don't I? But as a 'rules' girl I knew better than to talk to him first. Some will call it forming but it isn't. If a guy knows what he wants he should go for it and not the other way round. Forget the 21st century crap about a woman taking the bold step. Only works well in d movies or some really mature guy. Eeerm, I've derailed again haven't I? So where was I? So he came over and we made small talk. Talked about high school, college and post college days, turns out he's a good talker and we connected. While we were talking, my mind was already working like a clock...ladies, you know what it is like when we meet a guy we like, so I was already ahead of myself looking into the big picture. If you have a mother like my mum who constantly breathes down my neck about bringing a guy home, you'll understand and although I know she'll frown if I bring home a yoruba guy but I was past caring cos really, if he matches me spiritually, emotionally and mentally, why would tribe be a deterring factor? So after the recording he dropped me off @ home and gave me butterflies with the way his eyes stared after me.

Okay, he did meet all the physical requirements and I discovered I could talk 2 him (very important factor for me) and before my heart started spiralling out of control I knew I had to apply the rule book. On our 'first date', he asked me to come meet him @ some bar not far from my house but we know the first rule of dating is never to show up on early on the first date. I made up stuff about how tied up I was somewhere and all, suffice to say that bi showed up LATE. He made a face but I apologised as sweetly as I coukd and it was forgotten. We talked some more and I had undiluted fun. There's nothing like having a TDH guy give you his undidvided attention. The night was full of laughter and chemistry and deep down I was hoping that he would be the one. While he passed the first part of the rules/test, he did not pass the most important one for me. Or maybe I was in a hurry but when a guy kisses or tries to kiss you withoutlaying his cards on the table, you have to be careful. 'What do you want from me?' I asked and he said "I want us to be friends and some". That could mean a whole lot of things which in my dictionary means 'I want to play' and in the end I had to choose. I mean I'm not some 22 year old who could still decide to test the waters. I am looking to settle down in the nearest future and he wasn't speaking the language I wanted to hear. Then he stops buzzing me as frequently and in order not to lose my sanity I delist him from my bb just so I don't start doing the chasing. I know what you're thinking "but you could still be friends". Well, I'm not ready to be friends with him yet. I mean with all the chemistry and bonding we share, I just can't toss them or ignore them and be friends. When I'm ready to be friends I'll add him and then we can chat like nothing happened but I'm just not ready for that. For now I choose to let sleeping dogs lie.

Ladies usually apply the rules unconsciously to guys they don't send when in actual fact it should be applied to those we really like and want to have a future with. In order to know how much a guy values you, you have to pull back sometimes and see if he'll come after you. I wish TDH will show up on my doorstep and apologise and tell me how much he's missed me and how he aint sure about the future but is willing to take a bold step with me by his side. But that only happens in the movies doesn't it? I won't say its been easy but I'd rather hurt now than wait until he's decided he's played enough with me and wants to get serious with someone else. Some may not understand when I say I miss him... It's been a while I've felt like this about a guy besides I'm human and I have blood flowing through my veins.