To tell or not to tell

90% of us will agree that relationships should be built on trust right? But just how much are we willing to trust our partners or friends? The word “love” is so easy to say yet so difficult to prove isn’t it. For a better understanding of what love is, I’ll refer us to 1Corinthians 13. After reading it ask yourself this question: Can I truly love like this? Where am I going with this? I don’t know yet.

Apart from the fact that there’s so much sex in the series “Sex n d City”, there are lessons to be learnt. Carrie Bradshaw, a thirty-something year old woman was dating a Mr. Big. His job moves him to Paris and he so much as did not mention it to Carrie who found out by accident. He broke her heart by moving to Paris and does not call her or try to maintain their relationship even though it is obvious that Carries loves him. Some months or a year passes and they bump into each other at a party. Carrie is stunned that he is in fact in town and did not try to reach her then she finds out that he’s dating a much younger girl who happens to be 24/25 and is miss prim and proper. Mr. Big and Natasha prim and proper did eventually tie the knot after months of dating. Of course Carrie is hurt especially since he left her for a much younger girl and after telling her that he never wants to get married again. But she does try to move on and in so doing, she meets this really nice, tall, cute and good guy and is kinda scared that everything is going all smooth with him until Big makes a re-appearance. Yes, his marriage aint working and guess who he puts on the spot! Yes ! they did have amazing sex and she vows it will never happen again but it does over and over again. Big is saying he’ll leave his wife if only Carrie will be there for him when he does and she does not agree because she wants to love her new found boyfriend. We do know that married men will never leave their wives don’t we? Naturally, Carrie begins to shut her “mr. nice guy boyfy” out because she is ashamed of her behaviour and keeps running everytime big calls.

And she begins her battle of the wills “to tell or not to tell him”. Some of her friends advice against it while some do. If you were Carrie, what would you do? She is afraid that she’ll lose him but in the end she does tell him and she loses him quite naturally.

In our part of the world, it is easier for a woman to forgive a man’s indiscretions than it is for a man to forgive a woman’s. my question is would you forgive your spouse for cheating on you? And why?

Some of us might call Carrie a big fool especially since he did not marry her and is having an affair/committing adultery with her but my dear, emotions run pretty deep especially when the heart is involved. (Oh yeah! He was eating his cake and having evry crumb of it.) Your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you another. carrie knew she shouldn’t have slept with Big and jeopardised her current love life but when you love someone and “great sex” is involved, you lose all sense of reasoning. Why would a married man want to eat his cake and have it? And why would he put his ex-girlfriend in that position especially since he knows she had…still has feelings for him, after all, love doesn’t just die after a relatonship ends does it?

In my part of the world,if a married man goes after a single young lady and she falls for him, the society will blame the girl for yielding and no one will blame the guy for leaving his wife at home and chasing after another woman after all, it is a man’s world. Everyone seems to forget that a single “younger or older girl a.k.a the other woman also has feelings and is only human. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning the lady’s consent whatever the case may be, all I’m saying is it’s not everytime that the young lady chases the married guy after all, it takes two to tango. Look at Carrie for example, if Big had never made any move, she’d have been comfortable with her “mr. goody two shoes” and she’d have had the chance to love him as he truly deserved to be loved but Big had to make the move and considering what they’d shared in the past, she did not have the strong will to resist him.

My questions are in four parts
1. If you cheated on your boyfriend/spouse would you tell him/her and why?
2. If you were the spouse that was cheated on would you forgive and try to make things work or would you leave?
3. Did Big love carrie in the real sense of the word especially after reading 1Corinth 13?
4. It’s legendary that women do not know what they want but what do men want? Do men want to date miss wild and free and then marry miss prim and proper/miss bitch?